Sunday, August 3, 2014

10 Cartoon Characters with Names That Sorta Sound Dirty

Sometimes cute cartoon character names aren't so cute when you really think about them. The ones listed here sound more like vulgar Urban Dictionary entries or search terms that you wouldn't want showing up on your browser history:  

Quick Draw McGraw

How "Fifty Shades of Grey" is it that he wears a mask?


Penelope Pitstop

Poor Penelope


Pinkie Pie

Just don't think about this one too much


Lemongrab 

This "Adventure Time" character has a name that sounds a bit too adventurous

Snow Job 

Yup, there was actually a ginger G. I. Joe with this name

Woody Woodpecker 

Insert obvious joke here

Thumper 

Bambi's BFF was a little over-excitable 

Sandy Cheeks 

What a cheeky name for a sea squirrel 


 Snagglepuss

"Heavens to Murgatroyd!" 

Poopeye


Popeye had a cruel sister

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Kanye West Calls Himself a Blowfish: He's Thinking of the 'South Park' Gay Fish Episode, Obvi



Kanye West has compared himself to a lot of people. Yeezus wants us to believe that he's Steve Jobs, Anna Wintour, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, and Maya Angelou. If this were true, he might actually be legitimately interesting.

However, now that Kanye West has settled down with Kim Kardashian, he's definitely lost his comparison game. Instead of aspiring to be a business mogul or artist, he's perfectly content with being a blowfish. Here's what he said during a recent GQ interview:

"I don't have fangs. I'm a porcupine. I'm a blowfish. Like, I'm a—what's the fish that blows up? Yeah. I'm a blowfish. I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it's like a blowfish. I wasn't coming out of my house going to a paparazzi's house to attack them. I'm defending my family in front of my own house. I'm defending my name as someone's screaming something negative at me. That's a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people."

How hilarious would it be if Kanye West's chipmunk cheeks inflated even more every time he was confronted by the paparazzi?

Now is definitely the time for "South Park" to do a follow-up to its infamous "Fishsticks" episode – maybe Kim Kardashian could convince Kanye West to get so many fillers injected into his face that he starts to look like a blowfish.

Surely you can't forget the "South Park" season 13 episode that attempted to take musician Kanye West down a few notches. The rapper is known for his inability to keep his mouth closed (he has this in common with fish), so everyone was eagerly awaiting his response to the skewering (and breading and deep-frying) he got back in 2009.



"Fishsticks" gave us the "funniest joke of all time" (unfortunately the Taylor Swift thing hadn't happened yet), and it used Cartman to demonstrate how some people have such big egos that they can make themselves believe anything they want to. Kanye West was upset because he just couldn't get the fishsticks joke, and he was determined that a "genius" like himself would eventually figure it out. But when he didn't, he retaliated. First he attacked an innocent but unfunny Carlos Mencia, another egomaniac who was also brought down a couple of notches (he literally lost a few inches when Kanye beheaded him). Yeezus then went after Cartman, who was taking credit for coming up with the gay fish joke even though Jimmy created the zinger.

Kanye West was portrayed as an egotistical maniac, but by the end of the show, he just accepted the fact that he was a gay fish.

Under the Seazus responded to the gay fish episode on his blog, but first he had to share an article about how he's the "man of the moment" and a flattering drawing of himself. So did he tear the creators of "South Park" a new one? No. He admitted that his feelings were hurt, expressed no anger at all, and stated that he was working on his ego. He even posted the fake music video portion of the episode (which was incredibly well-executed).

Yeezus' Kanyeuniversecity blog is gone, but I did manage to find Kanye West's shout-y response to the "Fishsticks" episode in an old Rolling Stone article:

"SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SH*T WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!"
So now that it's five years later, do you think Kanye the blowfish is doing a good job of being less douche-y than Kanye the gay fish?