Kristen Stewart Vs. Jennifer Lawrence: Whose Comments Are Craziest?

Image credits: Sgt. Michael Connors and Jenn Deering Davis, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia

Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart have a lot more in common than being the stars of some of Hollywood's biggest movie franchises - they're also say some pretty wacky things when they open their mouths. But who has made the craziest statements? Here's a comparison of some of their comments:

On the difficulties of being an actress

K-Stew offended a lot of people when she took complaining about cameras being shoved in her face a little too far during an interview with Britain's Elle. Here's how the "Twilight" actress described being photographed: "The photos are so... I feel like I'm looking at someone being raped."

"Hunger Games" star Jen had a totally different kind of complaint. Here's what she said during an Elle  interview: "In Hollywood, I'm obese. I'm considered a fat actress. I'm Val Kilmer in that one picture on the beach."

While Jen's comments couldn't be further from the truth, Kristen wins this round for making the most offensive claim about fame.

On their significant others

Kristen Stewart and Jennifer Lawrence both have famous boyfriends, and sometimes they like to share TMI about them. Here's what K-Stew told Vogue about Robert Pattinson's weird fetish: "I love the way he smells. And him me. Like, he loves to lick under my armpits. I don't get this obsession with washing the smell off." So roll-on is a big turn off for Rob.

That sounds extremely disgusting, but Jen wins this round for using some very colorful imagery to describe the odd hobby that she and her former boyfriend Nicholas Hoult once shared. Here's what she told Elle about transforming into a dirty-minded cartoon character: "We can eat Cheetos and watch beach volleyball and we turn into perverted Homer Simpsons, like, 'Oh, she's got a nice ass.' I never thought we'd have such different opinions on asses." Hear that, Hollywood? Jen is going to win her next Oscar by playing the live-action version of Homer Simpson.

Bad explanations for bad behavior

And now for the tie breaker.

Kristen chatted to Conan O'Brien about trying to quit her bad habit, and she claimed that she wasn't ever addicted to smoking - she was just "a bit of a faker, a circumstantial smoker." She then went on to blurt out something that Conan just had to love: "I just wanted something in my mouth."

However, her oral fixation explanation can't top Jen's excuse for crashing into a car. According to Us Weekly, this is the insane story she told to Jay Leno: "I was driving home from work and I thought I saw Honey Boo Boo. It was a breast cancer parade. Now I know it said 'boobs' on [their shirts], but I thought it said 'boo boo.' So I was like, 'Does that mean it's Honey Boo Boo?'" Jen got really excited when she thought she actually redneckognized the reality show star, and that's when she rammed into the car in front of her. Luckily no one was hurt because of her false Honey Boo Boo sighting.

So it looks like K-Stew is no longer the queen of crazy comments, which means that she better start coming up with her own crazy celeb sighting story to top Jen's wacky tale - perhaps she could blame stumbling and falling in a pair of high heels on a Kim Kardashian sighting.

Kim Kardashian Starred in the Worst Movie of All Time

Image via Wikimedia, Danilo Lauria [CC BY-SA 3.0]

Did you know that Kim Kardashian filmed a homemade horror movie with the Cheetah Girls? The most terrifying thing about that artistic endeavor was that Kim played the group's lead singer (we all remember her attempt at a pop career with "Jam (Turn It Up)," right?).

As awful as Kim Kardashian's performance in that home movie was, it wasn't her worst (and I'm not talking about her other home movie with Ray J here). Her one attempt at a serious film role was in Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, which was panned by critics. Perhaps the negative reviews made Perry regret his decision to cast an "actress" whose claims to fame include a sex tape and starring in one of the worst movies of all time.

In 2013, The Wrap reported that one of the only other films Kim K has appeared in, Disaster Movie, was ranked by IMDb as the worst movie of all time on the website's "Bottom 100" list. I just checked, and it's still there six years later.

For the movie, Kim K teamed up with Carmen Electra to film a sexy wrestling scene spoofing the WWE, but the scantily-clad sex symbols couldn't save the movie from becoming a box office disaster.

Disaster Movie was the work of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, a directing duo that was already used to getting critically clobbered for sloppy spoofs like Date Movie and Epic Movie before they decided to take on flicks about disasters (like sex tape stars with reality shows). However, Kim was excited to work with the guys. This is what she told Moviefone during a 2008 interview:

"I auditioned for this. It was actually my first audition, and I got the role. And it's my first movie. I had heard what a great reputation Aaron and Jason have had, and I was just so excited to come on board."

When confronted with Aaron and Jason's bad rep with critics, Kim countered by saying, "I have a new 'hate is the new love' theory. And I just think that the movies speak for themselves." Apparently, it was a bad idea to let Disaster Movie open its mouth.

Speaking of speaking, Kim's voice didn't go over too well with some of the critics who checked out her performance in Tyler Perry's Temptation. The Hollywood Reporter wrote that her "monotonous line readings demonstrate that she saved her real acting talents for her sex tape," and The Wrap labeled her "nasal and awful." In the movie, Kim plays a bitchy, fashion-obsessed employee of a professional matchmaker, so she basically failed at playing an alternate version of herself. Tyler Perry defended his casting of Kim by saying that he wanted someone in the movie that young people look up to.

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At least Kim Kardashian helped Perry's movie win one award; the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star snagged a 2014 Razzie for her performance. She also got nominated in 2009 for her work on Disaster Movie, but she lost to her old pal Paris Hilton. Paris beat Kim for her role in Repo! The Genetic Opera, which, unlike Disaster Movie, isn't on IMDb's "Bottom 100" list at all. However, two other Paris Hilton movies are: The Hottie & The Nottie is fourth on the list, and Pledge This! is currently sitting in the 9th slot. Apparently, it's a terrible idea for directors to cast sex tape stars who move on to reality TV in their movies.

Speaking of Paris Hilton, perhaps she and Kim will consider teaming up for a movie someday. The old pals seemingly fell out when Kim started becoming more famous than Paris, but it sounds like they've repaired the rift; they've recently started hanging out together again. If the two of them decide to team up for a movie, I can see it being like All About Eve, but with sex tape stars feuding over fame. Maybe it will be the film that finally topples Disaster Movie from the top of IMDb's "Bottom 100" list.

The Ryan Gosling Bible: 16 Weird and Wonderful Things About the ‘Hey Girl’ Guy

Image credit: Elen Nivrae from Paris, France [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)]

The men who want to be Ryan Gosling and the women who want to be with Gosling thought they were in for a real treat when a photo of a GQ cover surfaced online. It was for a special edition of the men's mag dubbed the "Gosling Bible" and promised to contain info about "How to Break Up Street Fights" and confessions of men who love The Notebook. But, alas, it was just an April Fools' Day prank.

There might not be a Ryan Gosling Bible, but all the weird and wonderful Gosling trivia, quotes, and stories out there could fill up a pretty big book. Here's some fun facts about the guy who is the Gos:

He's ashamed of a fake tattoo 

Ryan rocks an embarrassing bleach blonde hairdo in his movie The Place Beyond the Pines, but he was more humiliated about rocking a face tattoo featuring a dagger dripping with blood. He told Moviefone about the faux ink, "I felt a lot of shame for having gone too far and for making a decision that was careless that might ultimately affect the movie. I was so ashamed that that shame lived with me on set, as I had to wear that stuff around."

Another Gosling tattoo tale 

However, Ryan Cabrera should be even more ashamed of his Gosling-inspired ink -- the singer had to get Gosling's face tattooed on his leg after losing a game of tattoo roulette. But maybe the ladies actually love it.

The Gos gets pranked by the Cloon 

According to Ryan, George Clooney once pranked him. Here's what he told "Extra" about George: "He will come up to you and tell you something very serious ... and then he'll walk away and you realize your pants are wet. He's had like an Evian spray bottle. He's been spraying your crotch the whole time."

The Sexiest Man Alive backlash 

When Ryan's The Place Beyond the Pines co-star Bradley Cooper was named 2011's Sexiest Man Alive by People, some Gosling fans did not respond well; they protested the decision by gathering outside the magazine's headquarters in New York.

Ryan's redemption 
But fans upset by Ryan's Sexiest Man snub were happy to learn that he topped a Details magazine fan poll asking readers to vote on who they'd most like to have sex with.

Anna Kendrick's kinky tweet 
Twilight star Anna Kendrick probably agreed with the results of the aforementioned poll, because she once tweeted this about Ryan: "Ugh - NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered 'inappropriate.'"

The Gosling Easter egg hunt 

Did you know that there are annual Gosling Easter egg hunts? Manhattan gal Jenna Livingston organizes the events, which involve hiding 600 eggs containing photos and fake Gosling quotes in New York, London, San Francisco and Chicago. The Easter-themed messages included gems like, "You're my favorite jelly bean" and "You make me happier than a whole row of marshmallow chicks."

He has a porn star doppelganger
Richie Calhoun is the adult film star who plays Ryan in porn parodies like Diary of Love, which is a much raunchier take on the romantic tale featured in The Notebook. Perhaps Anna Kendrick should consider checking out Calhoun's work.

There's a Gosling pancake 
Ryan's face isn't just on Ryan Cabrera's leg; Chicago-based artist Katherine Kalnes created the best breakfast ever by turning the Gos' handsome puss into a pancake.

There's a Gosling hotline 
Hey girl, are you down about Ryan taking a break from making movies? Then call the Gosline, a special hotline that's supposed to help fans deal with Ryan withdrawal. However, it's really just a recording of this line from The Notebook:

"So, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me, every day."

His dog had a mohawk 
Ryan's late dog George rocked an awesome full-body mohawk. According to People, this is how the Gos explained his hounds' wild hairdo: "He insists on it. Ten years ago I shaved a mohawk just for the summer. And then, every time it started to grow out, he turned into a total jerk. And then, I'd shave it back and he'd turn into a nice guy again."

He's a protective husband
You can say "Hey Girl" all you want, but don't you dare say "Hey Baby" to Gosling's wife Eva Mendes. According to an eyewitness, The Place Beyond the Pines costars were at the Bowery Hotel in NYC when a photographer referred to Eva as "baby." Ryan completely flipped out and got in the photog's face, but after Eva intervened, he cooled down and even made nice by shaking the paparazzo's hand.

He loves knitting 
Perhaps Ryan wound down by making a lovely scarf after that ugly encounter. The actor has said that his idea of a perfect day is spending it knitting an "oddly shaped, off-putting scarf" to give to someone as a gift. Maybe Eva has a few such scarves stashed in the back of her closet.

He tried to be a hero 
Ryan once broke up a street fight between two men who were arguing over a stolen painting, and he's also saved a woman from being hit by a cab. However, she was less than impressed by his heroics and somehow managed to turn them into an anti-American rant that was published online.

He missed a chance to join the Backstreet Boys 
During his days on The Mickey Mouse Club, Ryan lived in the same place as A.J. McLean from the Backstreet Boys. According to Ryan, A.J. was always talking about his group, but the Gos didn't try to join because he believed that boy bands were yesterday's news. So now Ryan gets his music fix by singing in the indie folk band Dead Man's Bones instead.

The "Hey Girl" thing 

Here's how Ryan describes the internet meme that he's famously a part of: "I don't think it's really about me. I think it really is sort of like, I'm a pigeon and the Internet is Fabio and it just happened." So there you have it.